Meeting Topics 2008

Click on each topic to download handouts from the meeting.

Right now, my family is in the middle of changing our parenting paradigm. The tools that have sometimes worked well with my five-year-old daughter don't seem to be connecting with her now. My husband and I have been picking up a lot of books and asking for a lot of advice. It reminds me a lot of how we began this parenting journey. The information and guidance of parenting books, child experts, and our doctors that we received when she was born seemed to be confusing and contradictory. One book said one thing and another said to do the exact opposite. How is a parent to discern the "good" advice from the “bad” advice when there are so many opinions out there?

Securing and maintaining a strong bond with my kids is my primary goal as a parent and is one of the biggest emotional needs of any child to grow and thrive. How different it is to consider parenting advice by asking myself, "If I follow this advice, will I be providing nurturing, guidance, and limits in a way that maintains a secure bond with my child?" We're working at changing the focus in our family from problem-elimination to relationship-improvement. If we can get ourselves onto the same "side" as our child, we're working on solving our problems and meeting our needs together instead of solely focusing on behavior cessation.

What would it take to change the culture in your house to one of connection? What would it look like if you were focused on the need being expressed instead of the behavior that is actually only the symptom of that underlying unmet need?

If you are interested in talking about changing your parenting paradigm through love instead of coercion, please join us on Saturday, January 12th, at 9:30 am.

February 2008: Conscious Parenting - Your Parenting Style

As the hustle and bustle of the holidays is now behind us, many of us are looking to follow through on some of our New Year's Resolutions. How about looking at your parenting style and resolving to be more conscious of your children? What kind of parent are you presently? According to the ‘Parenting Gurus’, there are three different styles of parenting: the Authoritarian, the Jellyfish, and the Backbone. The style that you were raised with profoundly affects the style that you choose to parent your own children with and how you interact with your partner on parenting choices.

Can we change our parenting style? Of course we can. No matter how old your child is, any positive step taken to improve the relationship can deeply change your interactions.

To discuss this further, join us on Saturday, February 9th at 9:30 am

March 2008: Improving childbearing and overall physical and emotional health through movement

When I became pregnant with my son six and a half years ago, I never imag- Inside this issue: ined where pregnancy, labor, and birth would lead me. Through laboring and birthing a baby, an entire new world was opened up to me. I have learned more about my body, mind, and emotions in the last six years than I probably did in the previous twenty-eight. Even after teaching childbirth classes and being a doula, I am continually learning more about optimal health in pregnancy and how it also applies to optimal health in those of us who are not currently pregnant. Most recently I’ve been focusing on the role the psoas plays in optimal fetal positioning and more efficient labor in the pregnant woman, as well as the role it plays in general well-being for all of us— pregnant or not.

Have you ever heard of the psoas (so-as)? Until recently I had no idea that I even had a psoas. Have you ever heard of sifting? Until recently I thought that was something we did to flour when we baked. I now understand what an incredible role the condition of the body’s muscles and ligaments play in the position of an unborn baby and the type of labor a woman will have. If someone had told me six years ago that I could have had an easier labor and birth and that I could also reduce pain in my everyday life, I would have jumped for joy (if only I’d been able to!).

If you are interested in improving a future pregnancy experience, in spreading the word to friends, or in improving how you feel on a daily basis, come join us on Saturday, March 8th, at 9:30am. Julie Reams, CD (DONA) and Certified Yoga Instructor, and I plan a fun (and sure to be entertaining) meeting to discuss and demonstrate positions, postures, and exercises to facilitate an easier labor and birth and to improve general well-being. We hope to see you there!

April 2008: How Our Children’s Brains Develop

A few weeks back I was making the bed when I heard my two year old exclaim, "Carter, what are you doing?" in his best serious voice. I poked my head out the door to see Carter perched on the computer desk playing with the printer (both "no's" in our house) and then marveled at his actions. To many parents it may have seemed like he was purposely disobeying a rule, but I was able to laugh knowing that while he has the script down, he doesn't really know what the words mean yet.

We've all had moments as we've watched our children grow where we've wondered "Is this normal? Are everyone else's kids doing this?" Hefty texts on toddlers and those cute little books we receive for recording milestones, along with our children's pediatrician's, do a great job of guiding us as our little ones meet new physical milestones. However, most everything seems to gloss over those all important cognitive processing skills. When do they learn impulse control? When can you start to use reason when explaining a rule? Why do they lie when caught in the act? If he looks like an adult, why doesn't he act like one?

Knowledge of our children's cognitive abilities is a great gift we can give to them. If we know what is reasonable to expect from them we can better set appropriate boundaries as we navigate down that winding and rocky road of discipline. If you are interested in learning how our children's brain's develop from early toddlerhood through the teen years, please join us at our monthly meeting on Saturday, April 12th at 9:30am.

May 2008: No meeting in May
Taking a break to sharpen our saws Suppose you were to come upon someone in the woods working feverishly to saw down a tree.

"What are you doing?" you ask.

"Can't you see?" comes the impatient reply. "I'm sawing down this tree."

"You look exhausted!" you exclaim. "How long have you been at it?"

"Over five hours," he returns, "and I'm beat! This is hard work."

"Well why don't you take a break for a few minutes and sharpen that saw?" you inquire. "I'm sure it would go a lot faster."

"I don't have time to sharpen the saw," the man says emphatically. "I'm too busy sawing!"
(Steven Covey)

Sharpening the saw is about renewing yourself - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. As parents, one of the things that we often forget is our own need to renew. We are so busy going about the business of family and parenting that we forget to stop and refresh our own bodies, minds, and spirits. Sharpening the saw is actually an activity, just as the analogy suggests. Think about what it would mean to sharpen the saw of your life. Whenever I feel burnt out or overwhelmed, taking a day or two off helps a little, but not very much. What yields a much greater benefit for me is attending a weekend seminar, reading an inspiring book, or having an interesting conversation.

How are your various blades doing? Your skills, your knowledge, your mind, your physical body, your relationships, your motivation, your commitment, your capacity for enjoyment, your emotions — are all of them still sharp? If not, which ones are dull, and what can you do to sharpen them?

Our meeting in May falls on Mother’s Day weekend, so this year we would like to take a little break from the tradition of monthly meetings every second Saturday. This month, we are going to take some time out for ourselves and to sharpen our own saws. We hope to see you back again at the June meeting or at any of the other scheduled API of Peoria events during the month of May. Perhaps you could sharpen your own saw this weekend, and you may find your parenting skills much more effective in the weeks to come.

June 2008: Babywearing Extravaganza

It's that time of year again.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and API of Peoria is getting ready for our Summer Sling Collection 2008. (Cue runway music) Gauzy slings, big squishy diaper bags, and spit-up-spotted t-shirts. It's all the rage this summer in our Peoria parenting community! And what's the must have accessory this season? Why, a sling, of course! Wearing your baby is not only convenient by allowing your hands to be free, but actually promotes physical development and makes for a happier baby. The anecdotal stories bear out the statistics.

So please, join us at our meeting on Saturday, June 14th at 9:30 a.m. Not only will you see a parade of beautiful slinging moms and dads, but you'll have the opportunity to learn about and try a variety of different baby carriers yourself. Need help with nursing while slinging? This would also be a perfect meeting to bring a friend that might be new to the concept of babywearing. And of course it will be a lot of fun, too.

A couple of months ago, my four-year-old son went through another growth spurt and every time I helped him into his car seat, I couldn’t help but to ask myself several questions. Are his shoulders at the right height for the straps? What is the weight requirement for this seat again? Is his too big for this seat? If he is, what kind of seat should I buy next? And once I’d exhaust myself and go through my list of questions, then I’d walk to the other side of the van to put my infant in her bucket seat and start asking myself the same questions.

Keeping our children safe seems to be a constant topic of conversation. Whether in the car, in our house, in a pool, or even a bike ride in the driveway, we want to help our children stay as safe as possible. And though we cannot predict every situation, we can prevent some injuries just by following a few small guidelines.

Join us for our monthly meeting on July 12th at 9:30am. We will have a guest speaker from the Peoria Area Safe Kids Coalition who will be speaking about child passenger safety and laws, water safety, and bicycle safety. If time allows after the presentation, we may also have an idea-sharing discussion about other child safety topics. Please see page 11 of the newsletter for more information about the Safe Kids Coalition.

We look forward to seeing you in July - come on out and have a “safer” summer!

Play is children's work. Is it our job as parents to play with them? Parenting advice from everywhere is telling us to spend more time on the floor, playing with our children, implying that if we don't we're neglecting them. So why is my child more cranky and demanding than ever after I play with him, and why do I resent it so much? What in the world is going on?

Come to our August meeting and hear what play means for a child's development, how to play with your child in ways that fills his 'love cup' and leaves you energized instead of drained. Learn how play prepares children for adult roles, connects them to the natural world, and allows them to deepen their imagination and focus.

But you still have to clean up afterwards.

We can't work miracles.

If there is a topic that you would like to see covered, please contact the leaders here.