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Meeting Topics 2007
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January 2007 - Compassionate Connection: Talking to others
about breastfeeding
"My milk didn't come in." "My baby couldn't
latch on." "It was really hard." "It hurt!"
"My baby sucked too hard." Does any of this sound familiar? If
you chose to give your child formula after trying to breastfeed, you
might have done so for one of the reasons above, or something entirely
different. A few months ago, a friend of mine and I were talking about
her current pregnancy and upcoming birth. She is pregnant with her second
child and didn’t breastfeed her first. She cautiously began our
conversation by saying that by the second day after the birth of her
first child, her milk hadn’t come in, and so she switched to formula. At
the time, she felt disappointed and a little frustrated that her body
just wouldn’t work the way that she thought a woman’s body should.
I didn’t know exactly what to say. I really wanted to support my friend
by empathizing with her feelings of disappointment, but I also didn’t
want her to think that her body did not work properly. I wanted to
explain to her the unbelievable qualities of colostrum in protecting
against bacteria and viruses, coating the lining of the intestines, and
boosting the immune system. I also wanted to give her needed information
that mature milk usually doesn’t begin to come in until between days
three and five postpartum, and that the milk continues to be a mix of
colostrum and mature milk for up to two weeks postpartum, through the
transitional milk stage. The other part of my brain, though, was thinking
that this would definitely be information overload for my friend, who was
still struggling with some feelings of guilt and apprehension over her
first breastfeeding experiences.
How do we walk the fine line between being supportive and being
informative without alienating our friends and colleagues? How can we
make breastfeeding information available in a non-threatening way without
judging people’s decisions? How do we support our friends when official
lactation support may not be available? And how do we demonstrate our
compassion and acceptance for those that have chosen not to breastfeed?
If the answers to these questions interest you, then please join us
Saturday, January 13th at 9:30 am for a special guest speaker. We are
pleased to welcome Jamie Smith, IBCLC. Jamie has been married to Martin
since 1993, and has four attachment-parented sons who range in age from
20 months to 10 years. She has been a La Leche League Leader since 1998.
She is also a speech pathologist and is currently working part-time on a
doctorate in speech pathology. In her free time, she likes to bake,
backpack, and make music.
February 2007 - Our Birth Stories: Birthing Our Role as Parents
I was reading one of the myriad of parenting books that I
usually have on my nightstand when I came across a particularly powerful
passage. Although the name and author of the book has left me, the impact
of that passage is still with me today. The author said that she did not
give birth to her children. Her children gave birth to her, as a mother.
The birth day of her babies was the day of her first step along a new
journey, a journey on which she had never embarked before. Motherhood had
changed who she was as a woman and as a person, starting back at the day
her children entered the world. She found new confidence, new strengths,
and new areas of difficulty to work through within herself that she
didn't know existed.
Childbirth is an event of great, often underestimated, power. As such, it
is not a neutral event. When you begin to talk about birth stories, it
can bring up such strong emotions. Your birth experience may not have
been exactly how you imagined, but it will always be an important part of
your life. Writing a birth story, even if no one but you ever gets to
read it, is a wonderful way to work through feelings and preserve
memories.
Come join us on Saturday, February 10th to discuss the impact that our
births have had on our own parenting journeys and how we can write a
birth story about the origin of our role as parents.
March 2007: The Third Parent - Demystifying the Media
We are inundated daily with pictures, sounds, and messages
that help shape who we are and how we view ourselves and the world around
us. Short of moving to Siberia or living like a hermit, you can’t escape
it! In one of my sociology classes in college, I worked on a project
researching the effects of advertising on the human psyche. It was a
fascinating project, showing the stunning power of the media in our
lives.
Never was this made clearer to me than when I watched a
transformation in my nineteen-month-old. Suddenly he went from being
completely oblivious to messages beyond the most basic (like Momma and
Dada’s voices) to standing in front of the television, pointing his
fingers in the air and wiggling his bottom, requesting to watch his
favorite musical TV show, or chanting "Neno! Neno! Neno! DeeDee!
(that’s DVD in Trey-speak) Neno!" every time he gets in the car. He
has even been so commercialized that, while he only recently had his very
first Happy Meal, he somehow KNEW that box was for him! I didn’t have to
tell him or encourage him to reach for it. On the surface, this is pretty
cute. But it also makes me take pause. What messages are being fed to my
son? How can I monitor those messages and give him filters to process
them? What can we, as parents, do to protect our children from the
potentially harmful messages being passed out by our society?
Guest speaker Elana Seidell will be presenting information
speaking to these questions and more at the API of Peoria meeting on
Saturday, March 10th, 2007. Elana has a four-year-old son. She is in her
last semester of Journalism at Bradley, where she has focused her studies
on media literacy. Elana also serves as the food editor at The Peoria
Times Observer. She is very concerned about the media and its impact on
our children (and adults).
April 2007 - Positive Discipline: Parenting in the Middle Ground
It's a Tuesday afternoon, and I run into an old friend at
the grocery store. We start catching up on our kids, trading parenting
stories, and I find myself once again trying to explain the term
"positive discipline." She is pursuing an Early Childhood
Education degree and hasn't heard of the term yet. I watch as her eyes
widen when I describe how we don't use physical discipline. My friend,
who is accompanying me, pipes up, "But her kids are so
well-behaved!" I know what my collegiate friend is thinking: “If she
doesn't spank her children, how can they be anything but little monsters?
How does she keep them under control?
What does positive discipline mean? If I am not using
physical punishment or punitive means, am I simply a permissive parent
with a fancy name? Positive discipline focuses on the Latin root of the
word discipline, "to instruct," and is a proactive way of parenting
our children. It provides developmentally appropriate boundaries linked
with natural or logical consequences, allowing our children to mature
into a secure and successful independence. With these boundaries and
consequences instead of physical punishment and punitive measures,
children are able to develop internal controls to help them monitor their
behavior, which benefits them far beyond childhood. Where do you stand on
the parenting continuum? Are you more permissive? Are you punitive?
Somewhere in the middle? Unsure? For more information about how to parent
in the middle ground, please join us on April 14th for practical
discussion and application tips for using positive discipline.
May 2007 - No meeting in May
Taking a break to sharpen our saws
Suppose you were to come upon someone in the woods working
feverishly to saw down a tree.
"What are you doing?" you ask.
"Can't you see?" comes the impatient reply. "I'm sawing
down this tree."
"You look exhausted!" you exclaim. "How long have you been
at it?"
Over five hours," he returns, "and I'm beat! This is hard
work."
"Well why don't you take a break for a few minutes and sharpen that
saw?" you inquire. "I'm sure it would go a lot faster."
"I don't have time to sharpen the saw," the man says emphatically.
"I'm too busy sawing!"
(Steven Covey)
Sharpening the saw is about renewing yourself -
physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. As parents, one of the
things that we often forget is our own need to renew. We are so busy
going about the business of family and parenting that we forget to stop
and refresh our own bodies, minds, and spirits. Sharpening the saw is
actually an activity, just as the analogy suggests. Think about what it
would mean to sharpen the saw of your life. Whenever I feel burnt out or
overwhelmed, taking a day or two off helps a little, but not very much.
What yields a much greater benefit for me is attending a weekend seminar,
reading an inspiring book, or having an interesting conversation.
How are your various blades doing? Your skills, your
knowledge, your mind, your physical body, your relationships, your
motivation, your commitment, your capacity for enjoyment, your emotions —
are all of them still sharp? If not, which ones are dull, and what can
you do to sharpen them?
Our meeting in May falls on Mother’s Day weekend, so this
year we would like to take a little break from the tradition of monthly
meetings every second Saturday. This month, we are going to take some
time out for ourselves and to sharpen our own saws. We hope to see you
back again at the June meeting or at any of the other scheduled API of
Peoria events during the month of May. Perhaps you could sharpen your own
saw this weekend, and you may find your parenting skills much more
effective in the weeks to come.
June - API of Peoria Summer Sling Collection 2007: What the best
dressed moms & dads are wearing this summer
It's that time of year again. The sun is shining, the
birds are singing, and API of Peoria is getting ready for our Summer
Sling Collection 2007. (Cue runway music) Gauzy slings, big squishy
diaper bags, and spit-up-spotted t-shirts. It's all the rage this summer
in our Peoria parenting community! And what's the must have accessory
this season? Why, a sling, of course!
Wearing your baby is not only convenient by allowing your
hands to be free, but actually promotes physical development and makes
for a happier baby. The anecdotal stories bear out the statistics. So
please, join us at our meeting on Saturday, June 9th at 9:30 a.m. Not
only will you see a parade of beautiful slinging moms and dads, but
you'll have the opportunity to learn about and try a variety of different
baby carriers yourself. This would be a perfect meeting to bring a friend
that might be new to the concept of babywearing. And of course it will be
a lot of fun, too – come on out and enjoy this twist on wearing your
children!
Our own Kaysha Simpson will be in attendance with her sling
inventory from her store The Sling Connection http://
www.theslingconnection.com. You will be able to view and try a variety of
different styles and purchase a sling on the meeting day with a
percentage of the profits going to API of Peoria.
July 2007 - Going it Alone
Looking over the calendar I suddenly realize, with a
little panic, that my husband will be on a business trip next month for
over a week. Just the thought of handling the kids myself during the
witching hours of after nap to bedtime sounds so overwhelming. From 3 – 8
pm is when I have hit my limit, and the kids are usually hungry and a
little crazed about that time, too.
I pause slightly, as I reflect on the moms and dads who
are going it alone every day, either by choice or circumstance. Every day
from 3- 8 is solo parenting time for those families. I think of the
struggles and the sense of loneliness, but also the independence and
strength that must rise out of these families.
Then I wonder about the parents who are parenting by
themselves while still in a relationship with a partner, one that may not
participate in the parenting in an equitable way. They are another group
that is certainly “going it alone,” even with their partner present.
How alike are we, when we have to “go it alone” in
parenting? I have a feeling that there are different dynamics, but
perhaps some of the same themes that play out over and over. Even though
we aren’t all in the same social circumstances, couldn’t we draw on each
other’s strengths and ideas to make this vulnerable parenting time a
little easier on each other?
If you are single, married, or divorced but sometimes are
“going it alone,” please join us on Saturday, July 14th at 9:30am. We’ll
discuss some of the aspects of solo parenting and brainstorm some ideas
on how to better support each other through some of the rough times on
our parenting journey.
August 2007 - Sibling Rivalry: Maintaining Connection as Your Family
Increases
The very mention of the words "sibling rivalry"
can trigger an immediate and intense reaction from most parents.
"The fighting drives me up the wall." "I
don't know what'll happen first. Either they'll kill each other, or I'll
kill them."
"I get along fine with each individually, but when
the two of them are together, I can't stand either one of them."
What kind of dynamics are capable of producing such high
levels of stress in a home? Take two kids in competition for their
parents' love and attention. Add to that the envy that one child feels
for the accomplishments of the other; the resentment that each child
feels for the privileges of the other; the personal frustrations that
they don't dare let out on anyone else but a brother or sister, and it's
not hard to understand why in families across the land, the sibling
relationship contains enough emotional dynamite to set off rounds of
daily explosions.
We, as parents, can make a difference. We can either
intensify the competition or reduce it. We can drive hostile feelings
underground or allow them to be vented safely. We can accelerate the
fighting or make cooperation possible.
If you are wanting to change the attitudes and words in
the sibling relationships of your children or the sibling relationships
in your own family or origin, please join us on Saturday, August 11th at
9:30am.
September 2007 -
How to Keep the Home Fires Burning
I just recently read an article by Elizabeth Pantley
stating that “after a baby is born, about half of all couples experience
a decline in marital satisfaction.” I can understand the momentous change
that a household and partnership undergoes after the arrival of a new
baby, with sleepless nights, new routines, and unknown challenges to
confront. Unfortunately, many of us are a few months or years past the
new baby stage and are still facing a relationship with our partner that can
be unsatisfying at times.
Intimacy certainly has changed around our house since the
days before children. Gone are the spontaneous dinner dates and staying
up until two in the morning just talking. Miscommunication, time
constraints, and exhaustion have replaced the connection that we once
took for granted. These changes that occur after having children, though,
don’t have to signal an end to an exciting and passionate sex life.
Modifications in the approach to intimacy can help maintain an enriching
love with your partner that will also help you be a loving parent.
If you are looking for some tips on how to regularly
connect with your partner in a way that nurtures your relationship,
please join us for a special guest speaker from Chapin & Russell
Associates on Saturday, September 8th at 9:30am.
October 2007 -
What Every Parent Needs to Know About Organizing
It's Monday morning, and our family is doing our typical
"not enough time to get out the door" routine. My
five-year-old's shoes are missing and the entire family is scuttling to
different ends of the house, throwing open toy bins and closet doors as
they go. Ten minutes later, the missing shoes are found, the kids and
husband are out the door, and peace has returned. Later, as I walk around
the house restoring order to the cabinets and doors flung open in the
frantic search, the chaos that reigns inside each compartment speaks
volumes about the missing shoe incident earlier this morning.
How can I restore order to our house that lasts more than
a few days? I imagine having more control over our space and helping to
focus our time on things that matter most to our family. I crave
organization that would allow our family to spend more time together
talking and connecting instead of rushing around the house looking for
missing objects before we head to work and school for the day. How do I
reduce the years of accumulation and clutter to make a more functional
household? Once I do find a method or approach, will I ever be able to
keep the organization so that I have more time for the people and
activities that I value most?
If this situation sounds all too familiar to you, please
join us Saturday, October 13th at 9:30am. Professional Organizer Kate
Varness will provide practical tips, techniques, and encouragement with a
dose of humor. Areas covered include:
-10 things every
kid’s room should have
-Keeping toys under control
-Organizing your craft room or kid's play area
-Creating a “Launch Pad” for everyday use items like keys and purse and
an “Action File” for paper and mail
-Making time for yourself even when you can’t go to the bathroom without
a “helper”
November 2007 - Family Bed: Why it Works
Well, we've hit another milestone in our family. Our
youngest child has moved into a regular bed in his own bedroom. Looking
back on our sleeping history with our two children, I can't believe all
the different arrangements that our family has used to get a good night's
sleep. We have tried a crib, a pack and play next to the bed, a twin bed
in the baby of the hour's room, the couch, a lovely swing whose song is
still etched into my brain, a bouncy seat, and even a carseat in the car
driving along dark, country roads to get a partially rested night.
But the one approach that I never thought I would use when
starting out my parenting journey is the one, to my great surprise, that
did work for our family most of the time: the Family Bed. When we found
out we were pregnant with our first child, one of our big decisions was
which crib to buy. However, the beautiful oak crib that we finally agreed
upon was sometimes a lone sentinel in our baby's room the first year as
we found other ways to soothe our baby to sleep.
The research on touch and emotional responsiveness at
night is overwhelming. No wonder sleep came easier to a baby that was
skin to skin with momma. And the nights when we didn't use the Family
Bed, we still tried to parent at night as we did during the day,
responding to her cries. Why does the family bed work? And when the
family bed doesn't work, how can we emphasize nurturing nighttime
parenting routines? If you are interested in the research behind the
family bed, how to use the family bed in your family, or how to transform
your nighttime routines into connected parenting behaviors please join us
please join us Saturday, November 10th at 9:30am
December 2007 -
Maintain Balance: Nurture Connection - Girls’ Night In!
In 2005 we started a new tradition for our December
meeting by organizing a special event for the mothers to attend to work
on Maintaining Balance. These past events have focused on pampering our
bodies and nourishing our spirits. Some of the fun has included a
chocolate fountain, foot baths, guided journaling, and even a drumming
circle! However, we always keep the December meeting content a surprise.
This year will be no exception. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) once
said, “The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the
kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual
inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else
believes in him and is willing to trust him." This past year, I
think that all of us have felt that trust and connection with each other
in so many different ways.
For this year’s meeting, we will be turning toward each
other and our connection as women and our support as friends. But what’s
happening at the meeting is a surprise - prepare to spend some quality
time with the girlfriends! Slip into your most comfortable pajamas or
lounge wear and join us for a come as you are Girls Night In!!! We will
start our activities at 5 pm and end at 10 pm that evening. If you can't
be available for the entire time, drop in when you can and stay as long
as you would like.
Plan on having your children stay with Dad or another
caregiver and let them enjoy some special bonding time together! This
meeting will be for moms and non-mobile nurslings in slings only. We hope
to see you on the evening of December 8th for an evening of connection
while maintaining balance in our busy holiday lives!
Read meeting topics from previous years:
Meetings
from 2006
Meetings
from 2005
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