Babies and young children have an intense need for the physical presence of a consistent, loving, responsive caregiver: ideally a parent. Daily care and playful, loving interactions build strong bonds. By providing consistent, loving care from early infancy, parents strengthen their relationship with their child and build a healthy attachment. If neither parent can be a full-time caregiver, then a child needs someone who is not only consistent and loving, but has formed a bond with them and consciously provides care in a way that strengthens the attachment relationship.

Create Schedules with Baby in Mind

• Instead of trying to fit baby into the existing pre-baby schedule, come up with creative ways to design new routines that include the baby

• Consider taking a sleeping baby along on date night, getting exercise by taking walks with baby in a sling, taking a trusted caregiver along for long evenings or special events, and working with employers to create a schedule that maximizes both parents' time with their child

Practical Tips for Short Separations

• Use a trusted caregiver to whom the child is attached and who supports The Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting

• Respect the child's feelings and follow his lead about his readiness to separate, using creativity to avoid unnecessary anxious experiences

• Accept that even older children have occasional difficulties with separation

• Avoid using shame, fear, threats or intimidation to force the separation, or to attempt to prevent children from crying about it

• It is critically important that parents who are separated from their children spend very focused and intentional time reconnecting with their child after separation

• Different children are ready for separation at different ages, but research shows separations of longer than two nights can be very difficult for children under the age of three

• Daycare situations that exceed twenty hours a week can be extremely stressful and detrimental to the long-term health of children under the age of thirty months. In-home care, either by a trusted caregiver or parent, is preferable

Working and Alternate Caregivers

• Explore a variety of economic and work arrangement options to permit your child to be cared for by one or both parents at all times

• It is extremely important to have continuity of care with a consistent, loving, caregiver

• Parents should expect and encourage their child to form an attachment to the caregiver

• Frequent turnover of caregivers can be very damaging to the attachment process

• Make the transition to a caregiver well in advance of any separation so that it is a gradual process and is comfortable for the child

• Minimizing the number of hours in non-parental care as much as possible provides the best opportunity for a child to build secure attachments with parents

• Holding and cuddling helps parents and babies reconnect after being apart. Include the child in day-to-day tasks, and spend non-work time with family